Hey there! Friendly till-monkey at your neighborhood Volde*Mart. (Or is that VoldeMart*?)

A slight WTF today. Now, I'm a bit hard of hearing. I've never been formally tested, but there's no arguing with experiences and experiences say I might need to start saving for a formal test. Anyway.

( Slower and Louder are not the same thing )

this happens every time it's on sale. and i totally understand why. it's pretty funny.

all detergent is on sale. it's detergent. it's called all. the signs saying so are directly under the detergent. the detergent that is called all. the other detergents are not on sale. they have names like tide and cheer. they are not on sale.

"but the sign said all detergent!!!"

"yes, all detergent is on sale, you have a bottle of cheer..."

this can quickly turn into who's on first, as you can imagine. usually i can solve it by grabbing the sale ad, and showing the customer the picture of...all detergent.

not a huge suck, but just one of those things that can take a minute or two for the "ahaa" moment to arrive.

and of course i'll hear a few "well, that's very misleading!"

*sigh*

I now work at a video game store.

Customer,

We offer warranties on stuff. We tell you to keep the receipts if you buy a warranty. Why didn't you keep the receipt? We have had to call the warehouse for you last time. Why didn't you learn from that? Then, you felt the need to cop an attitude with us because we had to call BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE RECEIPT. Oh, the Newnan store didn't have to call the warehouse? Well, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR BUTT BACK UP TO NEWNAN WHERE YOU BROUGHT THE STUPID THING? Oh, it would take too long? THEN SHUT UP WHILE WE DO THIS.

Dear lady patronising one of my favourite cafes:

While I have to agree that the look of sheer panic on the barista's face when your wandering toddler bear-hugged his leg was hilarious, I would like to point out that he appeared panicked because he was off-balance while holding a full carafe of boiling coffee above your cute little boy's head. His options included a) dropping the coffee on your child, or b) kicking your son across the cafe as he moved his leg to catch his balance. He went for c) praying he could keep his balance without doing either of the above, and you should be thanking the deity of your choice that he succeeded.

You should also be keeping a better watch over your son, since this situation developed after kiddo wandered behind the counter, while you sat at a table and sing-songed, "Jared, come here. Jared, come back. Jared, don't go back there. Jared, don't touch that. Jared, come here. Jared, no. Jared, leave the nice man alone. Jared..." At no point during this did you actually consider getting up and FETCHING Jared Darling, and Jared clearly had no fear that you would do anything as he cheerfully ignored you. Even after Jared was clearly not leaving the nice man alone, and the nice man was shooting you pleading looks as he stood there trapped with a toddler apparently gnawing his kneecap (still holding the carafe of coffee!), you didn't move. I got up and rescued the Nice Man from Jared Darling by steering your giggling kiddo back to your table, at which point the Nice Man thanked me and you... pretended not to notice that anything had happened. Riiiight.

Supervise your child, lady. He's cute and sweet and I'm sure he doesn't intend to be a bother, but kiddo is about two and needs YOUR adult input to preserve him from his own mistakes. All that cuteness will not save him from getting hurt if the next barista he glomps doesn't have good reflexes and drops the coffee.

I work at the department store that likes red stars.

1. We've been out of gift boxes for the past few days, to everyone's annoyance. A few days ago, after telling a couple that, yes, we were completely out of gift boxes, the husband proceeds to walk over to the side of the service center, rifle through a stack of empty cardboard boxes (not ones for wrapping, ones that merchandise had come in), and then walks off.

WTF, dude. Seriously, I wasn't lying to you when I said WE'RE OUT OF GIFT BOXES.

2. Sir, do not call me babe. That is not my name, and I don't appreciate being called that name. Also, no need to order me around (you don't need to point to where the stockroom is - I WORK HERE, REMEMBER?) and condescendingly tell me how to do my job. I can assure you, my vagina in no way impedes my brain function.

3. Don't whistle at me from across the store to get my attention. I am not a dog.

More to come, I'm sure. D:

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used cd/dvd/game store.

Notice I say 'used'. It's a used store. Every single thing we sell we buy from customers.

Why, oh why, must customers get angry with me when I tell them the items are all used? I'm sorry that you feel everyone will look down on you if you get used items. But please don't stomp out in a huff over it. That's just unnecessary.

Also- small suck but.. it really bugs me when this happens. This guy yesterday brought up four movies. I got all the discs. I know for a fact two of the things came in earlier sealed and I personally opened them to pull the discs out. He started inspecting them and exclaiming out dirty they were. He was pointing out scratches that didn't exist and asking me to clean them. Then he starts explaining how one disc looks like it had been left out in the sun because there were rings on it. Which weren't there. Honestly, everything we sell is guaranteed. Everything. Also, 90% of our product is under $3. Why do customers have to be super picky when we are really, really busy.. and always about the shiny, new, scratchless stuff?


---

Finally, there was a guy in selling a bunch of stuff and he kept yelling 'Velvet' over and over. I finally look over at him with a 'wtf' look, and he yells "FINALLY. Velvet! That's your name, right? HI VELVET"
I explain that no, it isn't. He insists it is and that everyone calls me that. What?
None of it made any sense.

.

This weekend, I worked at the box office giving out tickets to people who
d bought them and were picking them up in person. My co-worker J had someone come up to him to buy tickets. As he was attempting to process the order, our lovely Ticketmaster-provided computers decided to lock up, and he had to go back into the system to grab them again.

If this happens, the tickets are dumped back into the system, and can be bought by someone either by calling our little call center, or snatching them up online. Sure enough, that is exactly what happened. J was very apologetic, and offered her the seats *right next* to the original ones.

"Oh, what-EVER. We don't have time for your bulshit." (Lady and her companion storm off.)

End of story? No. Today, just as I am walking into the office, J gets a phonecall. It was the same woman! She starts going on about her horrible experience the other night, how the man was a liar and rude to her (why, because the original seats were sold out from under him for no fault of his own?). J told her 'Ma'am, that was me.'

Bitch refused to deal with J from that point on, so he passed her to another co-worker, and she was a bitch to him too, though she did finally buy tickets and STFU and GTFO. He told me later she was demanding tickets 50% off for her 'terrible experience and inconvenience.' she didn't get them, not for that price, anyway.

Customer: Ok, so I want *this*, but I want it to be *this* price [something less expensive].
Yeah, I want a pony that shits gold. What's your point?
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Me: So, do you need anything else?
Customer: Yeah, I need you to turn around again so I can see how you is.
-back away slowly, avoid eye contact-
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Customer: I want the sirloin steak--
Me: I'm sorry, we're out of the sirloin.
Customer's friend, to him: Oh, that means you get the T-bone for the same price.
Me: Uh, actually it just means we're out of the sirloin. T-bones are [more expensive price].
Customer: [bitch bitch moan denial anger bargaining depression acceptance]
If they're out of Sprite, it doesn't mean you get a Long Island iced tea for $1.00. Maybe something that's only slightly more, but no one's obligated to give you anything that costs more just to appease you.
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and the real doozy, a witnessed suck against another waitress.
I'm cashing out a customer, asking him how everything was, etc.

Customer: Well, everything *was* fine, then I heard something that really made me lose my appetite.
I ask him what happened, but he won't tell me. There's 13 cents change, he says to give it to the waitress. Then I see him go back to where they were sitting and take five dollars off the table. His friend sees him, and doesn't stop him. When I ask the other waitress (who was in the back) what happened, she says she was drying silverware right near them (they were done eating and had already put the tip on the table where she could see it) and they were talking about black people and how they're "muddying the waters." She didn't say anything, but then when they asked her her opinion she said, "Well I'm engaged to a black man and this is his baby" indicating her obvious pregnancy, and one guy said that "just made him sick".

So whatever anyone thinks about tipping thirteen cents, it's certainly sucky to take a $5 tip *back* because your waitress answered a question honestly and offended your racist ass.
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and finally, one I found funny if kind of WTF-y:

Customer: Do you have Egg Beaters? [fake eggs for vegans An egg-like product made for the cholesterol conscious or whoever]
Me: Nope. [I don't remember exactly what I said, probably put a little more sugar on it but whatever]
Customer: Well, can you lie to me and tell me that you do?
Me:...Sure. How did you want your -twitch- Egg Beaters?
Customer: Scrambled, thanks.
Whatever helps you sleep at night, eggy. Want me to tell you the hamburgers were painlessly euthanized after a long and happy life skipping around in fields with rainbows instead of shot in the head after grazing on what used to be the Amazon rain forest? are fat free? White lies are now a buck a pop, all you can swallow.

Still dancing with the pillows here at the biggest mall in America.

You know what I don't understand? I don't understand people who seem to think they can root through the stock drawers. We have three drawers on this cart. One of them is a really large drawer, and due to how we set up our display, it's slightly open. So I can *almost* understand why some people seem to think they can just reach into the drawer and yank out whatever they want.

But two of our drawers are situated so that you have to bend down and push aside one of the shelves in order to get it open and root around in it. I do not understand why people think that these drawers are alright for them to open.

I step around to the side of hte cart the other day, and see the bottom drawer open. More to myself than anything, I say out loud "...someone opened my stock drawer?

Customer: Oh, yeah, I was looking for a frog. But you don't have one, so I guess I'm not getting anything today.
Me; ...please don't go through our drawers, ma'am. *Kicks the drawer shut, because it's broken and it has to be forced to shut at all*
Customer: ...Are you really that mad about it?
Me: No ma'am, the drawer is broken and I have to force it to shut it at all. Kicking it is easier than bending down and trying to shut it.
Customer: Because if you're going to be rude, I'll just turn around and not buy anything.
Me: ...Ma'am, you already said you weren't buying anything. Have a nice evening.

I am constantly amazed that people not only think they can go through my god fucking stock drawers, but also feel like they can threaten me to make it alright. Like fuck. I had in over two grand that night, I needed her sale about as much as I need another beer after I've drank a twelve pack. Fucking dumbshitter.

I worked in retail for a very short period of time after Thanksgiving. Two days after Thanksgiving I'm working the cash register and everything is going well. I had one particular customer who would come and buy things multiple times, she was a very lovely lady and I generally liked her... Until the last time she came to purchase an item.

Woman: "Thank you for ringing me out, I'm sorry I've been such a pain, I won't be back I promice"
Me: "Oh no worries. Again happy holidays and thank you for shopping with us"
Woman: *licks her thumb and proceeds to lean OVER the display counter and rub it on my eyelid*
Me: o.0
Woman: "You're eyeshadow was smudged I needed to fix it. In a job like this you need to look professional"
Me: "Are you sure it was eyeshadow Ma'am?"
Woman: *rubs my eyelid more* "Oh yes, I have three daughters, I know these things. Next time just make sure not to use the waterproof stuff"
Me: "It's possible you're trying to clean the bruise off my eyelid. I don't recall putting on eyeshadow this morning"
Woman: "No, no I'm sure it's eyeshadow. I have three daughters, I know these things" *licks her thumb again and rubs my eyelid some more*
Woman: "THERE! Happy Holidays!"

Thank's lady. I don't know what kind of germs you had in your spit, and I'm pretty sure I got the swine flu from that little exchange... Next time you feel you need to save your spit with someone ask first.

Not the worst customer in the world, but what on earth would make someone think it's okay to spread their spit on someone's EYELID?

I just started working at a high-end (read: overpriced) cookware store. I worked there two years ago, then left for another job, and now I'm back.

From two years ago:

We have samples out on the floor of holiday candy. The samples tend to run out quickly, so we have some behind the counter. We were out, and a woman wanted to try some peppermint bark (i.e. the best thing ever), which was sitting in a jar. She asked me to try some, so I opened the lid of the jar, and put on rubber gloves to get it, since it's food and I try to be sanitary. She apparently couldn't wait for the peppermint bark, and REACHED HER BARE HAND IN to grab a big hunk. I wasn't sure whether to be shocked or grossed out.

From today:

We have two stand mixers that are essentially the same thing except for their colors. One also happens to be $300 more than the other. A couple asked me why that was, and I replied that I didn't know and would ask my manager. She told me that the color on the more expensive one is brushed nickel, which is more of a luxury color, and that the motor was slightly more powerful. I relayed that message, and the wife in the couple huffs, "She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about." and reads the wattage on the machines (the cheaper one was higher). They continued to shop, and I heard the wife several times say, "They obviously don't know what they're talking about here."

Okay, seriously? I know that my knowledge of the stock is a little lacking, but don't insult my manager. If you hate our store so much, don't shop here. GRAAGH IDIDTHATONCE SMASH.

Okay, rant over. :)

Phone call today-

Me: Harley-Davidson, this is Serindipitous, how can I help you?
Lady: WOMEN'S CLOTHING!
Me: This is Motorclothes, what can I do for you.
Lady: Your bootcut jeans, do you have them in a 16? The ones that come in blue and black I need size 16.

*Note: ALL of our jeans come in blue and black and 90% of our jeans are bootcut.*

Me: Do you have a part number?

*Note the second: A "part number" is H-D's identifying number for ALL of their products. Every last one, and 98% of the time I get a call like this and ask for a part number, the customer spits out the exact number I need.*

Lady: They're jeans. Why would I need a part number, can't you just go fucking look for the goddamn jeans?
Me: The Part number is their identifying number. There is absolutely no reason to take that tone with me, if you continue, I'm ending the call. I'm going to put you on hold while I go look for your jeans.
*HOLD*

Me: Okay, we have all of the jeans in stock in a size 16, except for the stretch contoured bootcut in black. We have all the other bootcut jeans though.
Lady: Listen, why don't you just tell me about the jeans I want to know about?
Me: Because you don't have a part number, this is the best information I can give you.If you get a part number for me, I can look up the exact pair you want. Usually they are a 5 didgit number beginning with 99 or 98-
Lady: They are not parts! THEY ARE PANTS you lazy bitch!
Me: I'm hanging up now.
*click*

She called back 10 minutes later sweet as pie with a part number. DX

Let me start off my saying that the lady this pertains to was in her 60s or 70s and walked with a cane. That pertains directly to the suck.

I live in a small town. The post office only has two windows and during lunchtime (noon to 1pm) only one of them is open (which is a suck for another community). Being so close to Christmas, when I walk in the line is back to the door (the waiting area is so small that 4-5 people is the maximum before the line is into the area with the boxes). At the counter, between the two windows, I see the woman (we'll call her OL) I described above. I assume she's with the lady that's at the counter or the girl who was packaging something to be shipped at the empty window. When the cashier finishes her transaction with her current customer, OL thrusts some money in her direction and says she needs to buy some stamps and "they can wait". She says she can't stand there and wait because of her legs. Okay, I can understand that but she could have at least been polite about it. She could have said, "I'm so sorry but I have a disability and have trouble standing, would it be okay for me to go first?"

The next lady in line was super nice and piped up and said it would be okay at which point OL finally turned and looked over her shoulder to acknowledge the line and said "oh, thanks."

Hello folks. Just letting you know I've just updated my free zine distro http://zinemonger.blogspot.com . There's new zines added including functionally ill and sexuality as hidden. I've also made the instructions for ordering much simpler and clearer. Please take a look and help yourself to some free zines!

Hello folks. Just letting you know I've just updated my free zine distro http://zinemonger.blogspot.com . There's new zines added including functionally ill and sexuality as hidden. I've also made the instructions for ordering much simpler and clearer. Please take a look and help yourself to some free zines!

I work at a department store as a cashier. We had a pretty big sale this weekend, and naturally, that's when the worst customers come out.

( Read more... )

Does anyone know where I might be able to buy white chocolate chips in Toronto? And I already tried Whole Foods.
I'm so excited to try those Rocky Road cookies from VCIYCJ but I'm missing that one fun ingredient!

I have been invited to a Body shop party tonight. Now I have not really looked at their products since I have become vegan but do they have any vegan products? I am not very happy with them ethically (L'Oreal now owns them am I right?) have to go to the party because its a friend holding it..

Thanks